Sunday, September 29, 2002


Eye update

Been wearing sunglasses like crazy and I finally saw the eye doc yesterday. They almost turned me away cuz of the other weird symptoms but I did get to see him. *He* thinks it's a sinus infection and wants to do an MRI just to be sure. *We* know it's not sinuses, but I'd be nice to see how/if my brain has changed in the 2 years since my last MRI.

In the meantime, I had an interesting day yesterday in trying to shop (JC Penny had a HUGE sale yesterday) while my eyes were still dilated. They stayed dilated for several hours due to the high amount of stuff they put in my eyes.

They still hurt from it and I'm still wearing glasses (I feel like Prot from K-PAX a bit, in fact I'm listening to the soundtrack right now) but I'm clear for Detroit tomorrow...Dad bought another plotter. Let's hope they're no airports we have to drive thru this time. :-P
posted @ 2:23 PM  |   0 comments  |  

Friday, September 27, 2002


An archivist blug?

faultStringjava.lang.Exception: java.io.FileNotFoundException: /home/Templates/3420221_a.html (No such file or directory)faultCode0

Mommy, it followed me home and it crept into my archives template file. You don't think it's responsible for this mess do you?
posted @ 4:09 PM  |   0 comments  |  


A Pro pro?

Ok so my eyes are still bothering me, my archives have gone AWOL and we have a triple post...BUT


WE ARE PRO!


Expect changes later. I still can't figure out why some of my stuff is going all weird, but then again I've gone a little weird myself so there.

But we are Pro now!!! WOOHOO!!!!
posted @ 3:36 PM  |   0 comments  |  


Huh?

Here I am trying to not spend as much time in front of a computer screen as possible and bugs (or rather, blugs) keep showing up. Go away Mr. Murphy...

If anyone's seen my missing archives, please be sure to let me know 'kay? Thanks.

Oh and there's a bounty being offered for the capture and nullification of this 503 error. Okay not really, I just wanted to say that cuz I'm sick of seeing it not publish half of my blogposts and eat others.

<puts on Zam Wesell outfit to go hunt some blugs named Murphy>

Oh good grief, I finally named a blug. Murphy.
posted @ 2:23 AM  |   0 comments  |  


Huh?

Here I am trying to not spend as much time in front of a computer screen as possible and bugs (or rather, blugs) keep showing up. Go away Mr. Murphy...

If anyone's seen my missing archives, please be sure to let me know 'kay? Thanks.

Oh and there's a bounty being offered for the capture and nullification of this 503 error. Okay not really, I just wanted to say that cuz I'm sick of seeing it not publish half of my blogposts and eat others.

<puts on Zam Wesell outfit to go hunt some blugs named Murphy>

Oh good grief, I finally named a blug. Murphy.
posted @ 2:22 AM  |   0 comments  |  


Huh?

Here I am trying to not spend as much time in front of a computer screen as possible and bugs (or rather, blugs) keep showing up. Go away Mr. Murphy...

If anyone's seen my missing archives, please be sure to let me know 'kay? Thanks.

Oh and there's a bounty being offered for the capture and nullification of this 503 error. Okay not really, I just wanted to say that cuz I'm sick of seeing it not publish half of my blogposts and eat others.

<puts on Zam Wesell outfit to go hunt some blugs named Murphy>

Oh good grief, I finally named a blug. Murphy.
posted @ 2:22 AM  |   0 comments  |  


Huh?

Here I am, trying to not spend as much time in front of the computer screen and yet more bugs show up. :-P Go away Mr. Murphy...

If anybody's found my missing archives, please be sure to let me know 'kay?

Thanks. Oh and there's a bounty being offered on the capture and nullification of this 503 error. Ok not really, I just wanted to say that cuz I'm sick of seeing it.
posted @ 2:17 AM  |   0 comments  |  

Wednesday, September 25, 2002


Homeland Security? WHAT?!

Wanna hear something weird? Someone was working on cable down the street which knocked ours out, and when I called them, the tech support gal said "for security reasons, may I have the last 4 digits of your social security number please?"

I didn't give it to her and I got my cable fixed fyi, but FOR GOODNESS SAKES! Do you really need to give the tech support guys (after lots of "for __ press 1" stuff) your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER FOR YOUR DIGITAL CABLE?!?!

How the F&#^ is THAT gonna help with "security"?!

Sheesh...
posted @ 10:46 PM  |   0 comments  |  

Tuesday, September 24, 2002


The eyes have it

I've got some bad news, I probably won't be online except for emails and ablog for awhile because my eyes are failing me again. About 2 years ago, I had to forego the computer almost all together due to my illness catching up to my eyes (no I don't have MS).

I'm currently wearing sunglasses indoors and at night so I ain't doing too good right now. I do have a doc appointment this Saturday so I'll let you know how it goes from there. In the meantime, I *do* have a sort of tongue-in-cheek version of that Thousand Island conference I went to this month with Dad (yes I got sick there too) that I'd like to post sometime soon.

Meanwhile, see y'all later! ...or not
posted @ 11:29 AM  |   0 comments  |  

Wednesday, September 11, 2002


How does one salute...?

All the brave souls who fought and died for their country, not just a year ago today, but everyday. I know God is watching out for each and every single one of us, and even during times of trouble, He still looks out for us. Need proof? I hope you watched Dateline about the air traffic controllers tonight.
posted @ 10:40 PM  |   0 comments  |  


Brokaw needs a Breakaw

First of all <standing ovation to everyone who reported, spoke, and/or performed today> Tom, sir, you did extremely well today! One of your best long-reporting days since the 2000 Election night. Enjoy a day off tomorrow! I hope you do cuz I don't think I'll be near a tv come 6:30pm ;-)
posted @ 10:36 PM  |   0 comments  |  


Which war?

I keep hearing people comparing 9/11 to the Civil War. I think that's a mis-statement. I think the *words* from the Civil War (we're talking Lincoln here obviously) apply, but 9/11 is not a civil war. It's more like the Revolutionary War, where we fought for our own freedom against tyranny, and WWII where we were attacked in the attempt to subdue, conquer, and enslave us.

The civil wars going on are within ourselves and in us freeing fellow humans overseas from tyrannies against which they have little or no defense.

So you see it's complicated. Last year, people weren't comparing this war to others as much as they are today. I'd like to keep it that way, because there really is no war we can really compare this to.
posted @ 6:19 PM  |   0 comments  |  


Tall gets small, long gets short

Here are 2 of the pix I took of the WTC in 1994 and The Hair before cutting those 6" one year ago today:





twins: once a world record



hair: once a personal record



Had a feeling y'all might want to see those. Btw, that white line is where the hair stopped.
posted @ 1:21 PM  |   0 comments  |  


Beyond September 11

There were other things I failed to mentinon earlier (and yes I know there will be quite a few I will still miss). One of which is my lack of tears. I think I came close to crying maybe only twice about this whole thing and only once nearly shedding a tear. Just too shocky for crying. But there was one outpour of emotion that got to me. While on that drive to Rhode Island in January, each and every skywalk that crossed I-95 in between Washington DC and New York were covered with some sort of rememberance: "God Bless America" signs and cups, flags (many of them faded by then), and other red/white/blue ribbons. That was one of the more profound things regarding September 11 that I actually came into contact with. That one really touched my heart. Garbage was playing on our stereo and yet we were driving thru where America's current new heart of patriotism and mourning was. We'll probably never see that again in our lifetimes. I hope those rememberances stay up there for a long time.
posted @ 9:34 AM  |   0 comments  |  


"Busted" by Matchbox 20

I forget when words were only words
She knows the party makes me nervous
In this stage we can't get hurt
Don't try to understand me

We're too cold to be alone
But not too crazy to get busted

I found out one life just ain't enough
I need another soul to feed on
I'm the flame I can't get burnt
I'm wholly understated

I found silence in this space
An on and off again attraction
I need such amazing grace
Heaven sweep me away

Love don't change, don't come around here
Don't wear my heart on your sleeve like a high school letter
Don't strain cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we've become, well they've never been the people who we are

I strap on one horse and prayed for luck
I dug another hole to bleed
I know exactly how this works
I need a new feel dirty

I don't need you crowding up my space
I just want to get inside you
You can't believe the hearts you save
Giving something away

Love don't change, don't come around here
Don't wear my heart on your sleeve like a high school letter
Don't strain cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we've become, well they've never been the people who we are

Love don't change don't come around here on the stage
Some will hope for something better well
Don't strain cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we've become, well they've never been the people who we are

I dreamed that the world was crumbling down we sat on my back porch and watched it
(Jesus is knocking on the door of your heart)
I dreamed that the buildings all fell down we sat on my back porch and watched it
Yeah well I dreamed that the wrold was crumbling down we sat on my back porch and watched it
And in my head I heard the sound like fifteen strangers dancing

But oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I wish that I was somebody else, baby
Oh how I wish you could own me

Love don't change, don't come around here
Don't wear my heart on your sleeve like a high school letter
Don't strain cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we've become, well they've never been the people who we are

Love don't change don't come around here on the stage
Some will hope for something better well
Don't strain cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we've become, well they've never been the people who we are

Who we are
Yeah
posted @ 9:20 AM  |   0 comments  |  


"Broadway" by the Goo Goo Dolls

Broadway's dark tonight
Little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway's dark tonight
See the young man sittin' in the old man's bar
Waitin' for his turn to die

Cowboy kills the rock star, and Friday night's gone too far
The dim light hides the years on all the faded girls
Forgotten but not gone, you drink it off your mind
You talk about the world like it's some place that you'be been

You say you'd love to run home but you know you ain't got one
'Cause you're livin' in a world that you've best forgotten 'round here

Broadway's dark tonight
Little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway's dark tonight
See the young man sittin' in the old man's bar
Waitin' for his turn to die

You choke down all your anger, forget your only son
You pray to statues when you sober up for fun
Your anger don't impress me, the world slapped in your face
It always rains like hell on the losers day parade

You see you'd love to run home but you know you ain't got one
'Cause you're livin' in a world that you're best forgotten
When you're thinkin' you're a joke and nobody's gonna listen
To the one small point I know they been missin' 'round here

Broadway's dark tonight
Little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway's dark tonight
See the young man sittin' in the old man's bar
Waitin' for his turn to die

You see you'd love to run home but you know you ain't got one
'Cause you're livin' in a world that you're best forgotten
When you're thinkin' you're a joke and nobody's gonna listen
To the one small point I know they been missin' 'round here

Broadway's dark tonight
Little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway's dark tonight
See the young man sittin' in the old man's bar
Waitin' for his turn to die
posted @ 9:10 AM  |   0 comments  |  


September 11, 2001: my story

Since I didn't have a blog back then and since I've never really written down my feelings or experiences on the subject, I decided a while back to deferr it until now. Only seems fitting right?


Well, now that it's a year later, and anxieties are running high for tomorrow, I guess I'll go ahead and spill about what happened to me last year.

Like for many of the big worldwide events that have happened over the last 6 years or so, I was asleep in bed when it happened and Mom came in to wake me up to tell me about it. This time, I think I had gone to bed around 2-4am again and was naturally still asleep when Mom came upstairs to tell me this time. I think it was either 9:30 or 10:30 and I was more than half asleep and wanted to get sleepier when she told me. She said that the two towers of the World Trade Center had collapsed and that one wall/part of the Pentagon had too.

Now being both half asleep and an avid Star Wars fan, my mind interpreted that as twin towers of the Trade Federation had exploded and hooray for the Naboo. I never really knew what the World Trade Center was anyway, I thought it was some one large building somewhere so it was the news of the Pentagon that got me more. And why wouldn't it? I was born in Washington DC and I still consider it to be my home turf, any attack there I feel to a fault to be a personal slight.

I sleepily looked at the clock and seeing how it wasn't lunchtime yet, I said "Good thing it wasn't peak hours" and Mom said "Yes it was, everyone had just gotten in to work." Well that got me to sit up a little bit more. My heart sank as both shock and depression hit in. Being a natural disasters junkie and also wanting Mike Roarke's job (Tommy Lee Jones as the head of the citywide emergency management office in Volcano) I was also morbidly curious.

I can't remember if I went back to sleep or if I when ahead and got up, but I did go downstairs and stay glued to the tv all day and night long. I don't remember if we kept it on NBC or CNN, but the tape Mom & Dad had put in shows it as being on NBC...at least for the first hour or so, I haven't watched the whole thing. For the next couple of months, the depression weighed on me for quite some time. I'm a post-traumatic stress disorder survivor (in remission actually) so with all of the above factors combined with that made me watch the footage over and over, as much of it as I could, and also collect some of the magazines that soon started coming out.

I've always liked the patriotism of the 4th of July and I'd never seen a 4th of July spread out over a 4-6 month period before. In my city, the Boy Scouts had planted American flags on either side of the busiest streets throughout the city. The flags all over the place reminded me of my home in DC and I didn't want it to end. What I did want to end was the threat of these terrorists. I still pray for their capture and for justice to be served.

I had voted for Bush in the election and missed his inauguration by about 4 minutes cuz I was asleep and for the previous months, I was beginning to have doubts about the man being in office. Not anymore. I also hadn't really paid enough attention to politics in my life so I was happy to see the President acting like the down-to-earth guy that he is when in that pep rally-like spirit he spoke at Ground Zero. The DBF'er in me was thrilled. I was happy to see Americans coming together to fight this war that needs fighting. But I had not expected to fight one myself: online.

In the support newsgroup I frequent, I had already fought hard, long, and fast against one troll in that group (not my first online) and no sooner had the terror attacks happened than the group was inundated with cross-postings of all sorts regarding the attacks, Islam, the war, and people just generally being outraged. One person in particular was listening more to his testosterone than his brain (if he has one, and if he does, he certainly wasn't proving it) and I countered him. When he finally seemed to have left, he came back and attacked me personally. Been there, done that. So I got him again and he finally shut up and went away.

Now, this isn't some ego thing here, in every troll I've encountered, I've learned one more way in defending myself against verbal and written attacks. This one, like the one I'd fought before in this same newsgroup, helped me step up to the plate in a fast yet precise manner. I haven't heard from him since and I don't wish to either.

Many people were scurrying about in many different ways back then and still are. I don't think I've ever really been afraid throughout this whole mess, just majorly depressed overall and personally outraged in during that trollwar. With my illnesses I've had to stop making emotional investments in certain areas, just cuz I know I'd probably not be able to handle the overload. Maybe part of it is the fact that I never really knew the Twin Towers, and having lived in the major metropolitan area of Washington DC, we're used to knowing various emergency procedures. Mom & Dad knew they would put DC on lockdown before it was reported on tv. But still, it was sobering watching all those millions of New Yorkers make the migration north. All of them walking. No cars were on the bridges that day, and no lights were on Broadway that night.

The song "Broadway" by the Goo Goo Dolls (a favorite of mine) came to mind when they started announcing all of the closings, and it came to mind again when Dad & I drove thru NYC on our way to Rhode Island just after New Years. We were a long way away from downtown at a gas station, and I could still see the dust from Ground Zero.

Just this past month while unpacking from our most recent move, I came across some photos I had taken during a bus tour back in the summer of 1994. I had 4 pictures that had the Twin Towers in them. I remember that day the tour guide had said "and here's the famous New York City skyline" like it wasn't all that special. I'd never seen the skyline before or even considered it famous back then and took the shots. Even today, I can look at the skyline on tv and not really be able to tell where the "hole" is where the towers used to be. It just wasn't something I was close to. Which is partly why I've been so upset that whenever September 11 is mentioned, the Pentagon is barely named at all. I'm sure the folks outside Pittsburgh/Shankesville feel the same way.

September 11 was a big day for me in another way too. Later that day, I went to have 6 inches cut off of my hair. Until this past year, I'd never cut so much off at one time. You can guess what the topic of conversation was.

In the early wake of 9/11, there was also much talk about a possible second wave of attacks. When I heard of the anthrax cases, I (like so many) almost immediately thought that this was it. When we learned who the targets were, I sadly and almost breathlessly said to myself that this was it. I saw the look in Tom Brokaw's eyes when he talked about it- he knew somone had taken a bullet for him and he being a newsman was being forced to deal with it publically by reporting on it. My heart went out to him. While I like it whenever I see public figures "being human" rather than "celebrities", it really got me to see how shocked and rattled he was. Too close to home. Just too close to home.

Well, we do now? We find those responsible, fix our mistakes, we learn from this whole mess, and we prepare, inform and be on the lookout for next time. We also share what we've gained with the rest of the world, because long after Al-Qaeda's death and America's learning to share its world power, there will still be terrorists who seek to do harm. So the question is: how do we deal with it next time? Answer: God willing, there won't be a next time.
posted @ 8:45 AM  |   0 comments  |  

Thursday, September 05, 2002


Artie's page...

...like Bluggers' Blog is sort of on the back burner right now as I've still got a million things I'm not doing to help unpack the house. My family ALWAYS takes forever to unpack the house after we move. I don't think we've ever been really unpacked, except for that one HUGE house we lived in. Even then, my room had too much large furniture so it felt like a small room. But then again, I had the double bed. :-)

Ok where was I? Oh yeah, Artie's page/site and Bluggers' Blog and .Significant Rebellion...all those guys. They're still on hold even tho everyone except Artie already has stuff uploaded with counters counting. I honestly do not know where the people who are seeing the Bluggers' Blog are coming from since the blog is supposedly a private one and I haven't posted any links anywhere.

And the sigs and blugs are jealous cuz I took pix of Artie intended for his site (and knowing us, they won't be developed for at least a month or two).

Ah, to have too much on one's plate. Too bad it's not the kind I can give to a Porkinite to eat. ;-)

Anyway, I'm alive, my hair is shorter, and everyone's upset at being overloaded and ignored. Can I get a nice big collective "ARGH! " here?
posted @ 3:05 PM  |   0 comments  |